To My Mother who is alive and well

Mom- This post is for my momma.

On February the 17th- My husband and I had went to have a few drinks after I’d gotten off of work. After a few, we went home where I laid on the couch with my children watching tv.. then the phone ring. My niece. ” Grandpa just called, grandma is on the way to the hospital in the ambulance , she fell and is incoherent.

Incoherent was not something I liked hearing. We rushed over to the hospital where most of the immediate family already was. Nothing like this had ever happened to us. Grandma ( My mother is our Rock and our center.) This was not in the plans.. In Fact , my parents were gonna come to our house to kid and house sit as hubs and I went away for a vacation for a few days.

Look, I’m gonna go into details, I want to document this for me, for my mom and my kiddos. So this will be a long post.  

But when I went back to see my mom.. She didn’t look my mom , I’d never seen her so pale and .. well like that. My poor momma. We knew she had a temperature of 105 F which is pretty darn high. We knew that she had fallen off the bed and hit her head.. And all she could say was I hit my head, I hit my head.. over and over. I am a Faith Filled woman, I know God I know the Lord Jesus Christ, but nothing could prepare me for that moment. It was hard. Quite honestly, I stayed as calm as could be, it was our turn to be strong for her. she needed us. I put some socks on her, she was barefooted. I tried to comfort her and be an advocate for her along w my sister. My father… he was a mess. He kept repeating what happened.. and how she meant everything to him.. Us being who we were.. made jokes in the waiting room.. Daniel ( my bro) bought donuts and Jack in the box tacos.. I had a purse full of protein snacks.. and we all were just shook.

We stayed all night, mom was somewhat stabilized and placed in ICU , her vitals were all over the place and because she was not well enough nor responsive enough and MRI was out of the question. We were concerned that she had damaged her brain during the fall.. had a stroke, or fever had caused some serious damage.

Mom went into ICU where one thing at a time occurred. Her fever was dropping, her BP was extremely low, She talked clearer, then unclear again. She couldn’t move.. swallow and didn’t recognize my brother, she said hi to me , smiled, spoke clear again , then back out again. We had hope ,then became afraid.. We didn’t know what was going on. We learned she was severely dehydrated, and had some sort of infection causing fever to spike.. My mom is a diabetic, but oddly enough her sugar was just fine.

After a day or so, it was determined she had a kidney infection and was thought that the slurred speech, confusion and other similar symptoms were from the infection which had turned into toxemia / sepsis. My mother continued daily to tell us she had hit her head, and an MRI was still not an option as she wouldn’t sit still through it. There were times she was sharp as usual and there were times of despair. At one point, she slept pretty much for 2 days straight and didn’t eat for about 6 days.. we were WORRIED to say the least. I went to her house, I cried.. a lot, I prayed a lot I cried some more. My faith never left me and the good lord never left my side. All of those bible verses kept popping up, Do not fear, I am with you. I will never leave you, Trust in ME ! I knew that prayer works and that this was not a time to let my guard down nor my faith. Pretty quickly after mom went to the hospital, I did alert the praying warriors in my life. It was tough because a lot if questions were asked, and more and more people started to hear the news and became concerned. I did go to Facebook and announce a little something, and asked for much needed prayer. I had so many calls and texts and people telling me how they were praying for mom. We in my home lit candles, prayed a lot and never lost faith. I had so much comfort through praise and worship music, and comfort directly from the lord. He knew we were scared for our mother.. Jesus too must have been scared for his mother as she wept for him, but he looked adversity in the face and never lost sight of his purpose.

My younger brother was able to fly home from Hawaii and we all pulled together like mom would want us to. She’d be proud of us. One thing she is always saying that she thinks she did a good job raising us. She did.. We all pulled together really strong for her. Not putting ourselves first but doing what was best for her. I want to thank my husband who through it all , prayed, kept the house up , and held my hand through it all.

Adversity comes in our lives.. and it’s not a matter of if it comes, but when it comes.. are you strapped up in Armor to be ready for the battle. The devil comes to laugh , to kill, to steal, and destroy, but Jesus came to give us everlasting life and no one can take that away from us unless we let them. I personally continually praised the lord for every breakthrough she had, prayed for the doctors and nurses. Mom was a handful at times.. A time or two I went to pray over my mother, play worship music, and even colored this while visiting.

God Is My strength and Power and he maketh my way perfect.

A few times I felt afraid and lost, I wasn’t ready to lose my mom, and knew with all of my heart it wasn’t her time. We have so much to do still. I came to the hospital and reminded my mother that she’d live to be a very very old lady. I used to get mad at my mother being unrealistic saying that she’s live to be 110. Well momma.. go head on w your bad self. I selfishly asked the lord to spare her and to heal her.. and of course mindfully and respectively asked for his will. He knows best always. God works in mysterious ways.. Did he just wanna stop my husband and I from going on our trip? Did he want to bring my brother home from Hawaii? Did he want to grow our faith? Did we need to be reminded of what she meant to us? Did my dad need a reality check? Did we need to increase our prayer life. Or did God simply want some time with mom. We don’t know, but he does.

For me personally , revelation came as I stopped counting on mom and us to be strong, when I admitted that weren’t strong enough to get through this alone.. We needed the Holy Spirit to intercede, and when that prayer went up, the blessings came down. My sister went to church that same night to  light candles and if you knew my sister.. lol you know that’s a big deal. My family praised and prayed and prayed and praised, and no matter the outcome we decided, God is Good all the time.

To this day.. My mom is still in the hospital, and God Willing is having her final procedure done tomorrow morning and will be sent home tomorrow as well. She’s been through so much.. Her brother passed away God rest his soul, My Uncle Julio just a few days prior to her going to the hospital, and yes we heard her talking to him. She called me tonight afraid and tired of being n the hospital. She’s been out of ICU for about a week now and in the hospital now for a total of 16 days. In hospital stay terms.. that’s a LONG TIME..

I got sick while she was in there.. my dad pulled his neck, my daughter broke her sweet little wrist.. all while she’s been in there.. But God is still great all the time, He never promised life without trials and difficulties. In fact he shares we will have them, but we needn’t fear, for he has overcome the World! Thanks be to God for strengthening us, and Thanks be to God for never leaving us nor forsaking us. I firmly believe God is shaping my mother, he’s not finished with her yet, God has decided to continue to use her on this earth for a purpose we do not know. Our sweet little cranky , feisty, loving momma. Te amo mucho mom.

Until next time, whatever comes your way.. even when its hard.. especially when it’s hard.

Trust Your Journey Beauty!

 

P.S. – Mom I love you, I have peace with you, You are an incredible woman, I know in the past, well it’s the past. I love all the times we’ve shared.. I love and look forward to many more great times. You are my hero, You taught me how to be good, you shared the Lord with me, and you showed me what strength is and what it means to not give up, ever. So I will see you tomorrow. Gods got this.