I am Guilty

Ok, So I didn’t write in October! What the heck happened? I admit, I thought strongly about doing it on October 31st Halloween, but then , “I got busy”.  I am guilty of flashing my busy badge.. and the sad thing the only one I’ve been flashing it to is me. In my mind, I’m too busy for this, I’m too busy for that. I’ve lost some connection recently with a lot things while flashing this busy badge. In church yesterday we began reading the book of revelation, so exciting. The most powerful thing my pastor said yesterday, was some of you have lost sight of Jesus.. he’s become foggy to you and you are here because you want to see him more clearly. (Bingo) That’s it.

I am guilty of wandering astray lately. If you know God and truly know the peace of God. You know there is nothing else like it. Deep down inside, I always have that inner peace. But Total Whole, inside, outside, and in between every nook and cranny peace, I’ve been missing it.

I read devotionals. Most days of the week. At some points in my life I could say daily, and with my devotionals, I read scripture.

There is a fine line between reading and really absorbing what you are reading.

I am guilty of going through the motions, and reading scripture and not really letting it soak in. On Facebook, as many do.. In the month of November , I have traditionally practiced Daily gratitude posts. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful every day of my life, but in November I traditionally try to write something everyday in honor of Thanksgiving.  Well, I don’t know if it’s the attitude of gratitude or is my soul really trying to wake up.. But I think I’ve been asleep for a little bit. Couldn’t say how long.

So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.  – The Holy Bible Revelation 3:16

Pretty heavy stuff, I remember the first time reading that, thinking, well that seems harsh. I used to be pretty comfortable in fact, I use to prefer middle of the road or “lukewarm’ thinking. That sorta stuff, just doesn’t settle well with my soul anymore.    (I’m very thankful to several leaders in the Mary Kay organization along with the founder of the company for instilling that value in me, and always pointing others including myself to Christ. )

I am guilty of being lukewarm, of settling , I am guilty of letting the days pass by and not making my mark on each one. I am guilty of not being ok with that anymore.My soul has been reaching out to me, my soul has been crying desperately for help, my soul longs to be on fire as it once was, my soul is good to me and has seen the light and refuses to let me go down like that. To my spirit , I am thankful. I am thankful that the holy spirit lies within me and has once again awakened me.

This morning as I was about to clean my room.. and I’m not gonna lie, watch a movie while doing it.. My soul said , you need to pray! Crystal You haven’t prayed today. I pray at dinner time, I prayed last night w my daughter for my son to get back home to his college town safely, I pray really often, but you know , I needed to really pray. I mean on my knees really heart to heart with Jesus.  He knows everything that’s going on, but I needed clarity on so many things. So I prayed for just that, with My Mary Kay business, I handed it to God and am leaving that in his hands, with my part time job , I’ve asked many questions, with my home and my family, I am trusting God! Most of all I prayed to burn again ! I want to spread like wildfire for the kingdom of my father, I want to leave no stone unturned, and I want God’s word to engrave in me.

After my alone time, I was lead to read my devotionals, and while reading Day 31 of The Discovery : Exploring God’s Call on Your Life, by  Angela Sanders, the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma , and youth ministry. I had an aha moment, that I just wanted to share with you all. I just wanted to share this with anyone actually. I don’t know who reads this blog.. But I hope that this awakens you too!

Psalm 119 is one of the longest chapters in the bible, many verses were highlighted today and really stood out to me, here are a few I wanted to share w you.

Psalm 119:88 Revive me according to Your lovingkindness,

So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.

Psalm 119:102 -103 I have not departed from Your judgments,

For You Yourself have taught me.How sweet are Your words to my taste,

Sweeter than honey to my mouth!

(P.S.) I do Not own these photos. (google images)

Psalm 119:176 I have gone astray like a lost sheep;

Seek Your servant,

For I do not forget Your commandments.

I am guilty of wandering astray for too long, and too far.

This post is not to say we don’t wander, it’s not to say Everything is perfect as so am I from this point forward. This post is to acknowledge the sin in me and my need for a perfect God! My need is daily, and my need is great. I pray that you are wide awake, and I pray for your perseverance and continuation in whatever it is that you seek to accomplish in life. Keep fighting the good fight, it isn’t always easy, but I’m positive it’s worth it.

“We’ve all heard the expression, ‘An Apple a day keeps the doctor away.’ Well, I’ve got a good question for you: What if it’s true? Wouldn’t that be easy to do- to eat an apple a day? Here’s the problem: It’s not always easy to do. ” – Jim Rohn

Until next time- Trust Your Journey Beauty!